I've been told, more times than I can even count now, that I'm too hard on myself. I don't know if it's because the goals I have laid for my path require it, or because I'm delusional, but I do know, that being hard on myself is what makes me push to succeed. To be more. To do more. To improve. To out shine my last moment with a new.
I also know, that it hurts me. It hurts my work, my health, my emotional well being. Lately, I have been in constant comparison. With anyone in particular? No... but the internet is like an ocean. A large mass of artists from anywhere and everywhere. Fabulous people with amazing minds by the hundreds. Sometimes I love their work so much that I lose love for my own. I ask myself why I didn't think of that, do that, do better. And then I saw this quote.
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
...and I crumbled. It's so simple and so true... and so sad. I am myself. I am me. And when I take a step back, when I review my own work, my own thoughts, my own creativity- that's my mind. That comes from my hands and my heart and to wish it were something else only seems, well, completely wrong.
I have received so many insanely amazing, honest, and loving comments about my work in this adventure. I have taught myself so much, learned so much, refined so much of myself that to not think I have something special- to not realize that- is just silly.
There will always be someone better, but there will also always be someone worse.
To rank my creativity, the work of my hands, the thoughts of my heart and mind... well, it's exactly as the quote says, to do that, is to rob myself of joy. And it has.
Last night I told myself no more. I changed my thinking and my feelings and I went to work. I worked last night from my inner most place. I worked from my heart, and I didn't think of who or what this work would be better than, I only thought of what would make me happy. I only focused on my capabilities and I pushed myself for me.
Is this any never-before-seen masterpiece that no one else could ever make? (I want to say no) but yes, it is... from me it is- because my hands have never made it before. And well, damn...
I'm proud of it.
Never ever belittle your talents or capabilities.
Love yourself for everything you have.
Live your life in joy.
Life's to short for anything else.